I've got lots of things I want to say to all of you. I wanted to talk to you guys today, but I just dont have the mood to do so. So, i shall write out my thoughts as well as my reflections here. I'm sure most of you know how the teachers, Mr Choy, I & Arjay felt today. Honestly, we really sounded really awful. I've been thinking really hard if I should say this, coz I'm afraid that it'll discourage many of you here. But it's proven to me that praising & encouraging you guys isn't the best method at all. At first, me & Arjay wanted to use a different method to approach you guys, by not scolding all of you too much but use encouragement to boost your confidence & help to make coming to band a more enjoyable thing & make music fun. However, this was not the results that we get. What we got in the end, was all of you, slacking, not being serious in band, always laughing & talking as if you're in a market & not developing a passion for music. We always tell ourselves that we want to get Gold.. gold.. gold. But do you think it is easy to get Gold? Don't think that we have always maintain a Silver so getting a Gold is not a problem. GETTING GOLD IS A PROBLEM. You don't practice hard during sectionals, when tutors or Mr Choy is teaching you, correcting you, you laugh your way off, nodding your head that you understand & you will note it down but how many of you really understand it? I hate it whenever I recall the fact that whenever I asked if all of you understand & you guys replied "Yes ma'am." when you don't even understand. If you guys understand, than why did all of you make so much noise today? I have to keep telling all of you to keep quiet, making "shhhh.." sound. This doesn't shows how much the Band Major cares for the band, but it reflects how the band's dicipline is. A discipline band would just keep quiet, have self-discipline, & the Band Major won't even have to tell them a single thing. By doing this just only shows that you all don't understand what we've been reminding you, been telling you so far. I often think everytime when the band is noisy, or misbehave, is it my fault that I'm not strict enough, or is it your fault that you don't have self-discipline. Truthfully, I really could'nt bear myself for being strict at you guys. Do you think that I love to shout at you, keep adding oil into the fire whenever Arjay is alr scolding all of you? We're doing all this is all because of you. Do you think we love to shout at you, nag at you? We don't get $$ if we scold, we don't get good comments/remarks when we scold but why do we still do that? & instead of apprieciating the fact that we still care to scold, you all show attitude & then complain, complain, complain. & when we try to be nice to you, don't give punishments just warnings & try to always encourage you guys more often, you all take it for granted & start to become relax. Tell me, what do you want us to do?

Today's a classic example. I kept reminding all of you to watch out for your behaviour, don't disgrace yourself infront of others. But all of you just did. & I remember all of you replied happily to me "Yes ma'am!" just yesterday. Is this what you call understand what we meant? I really don't know what should I do. I told myself to be strong, to be strict at you guys but I don't know why, when I see all of you I just could'nt do it. I was afraid that if I said really harsh things I might hurt you guys, & i don't want you guys to start hating band & start to skip band. But after today, I guess I'd rather all of you hate me, get what I mean by being serious, & that band would be like before, so strict & so stress, rather than all of you starting to slack, starting to have no goals & expectations for yourself & band collapse. We wanted to treat you guys as friends, as a family, rather than as a senior-junior relationship but all of you are started to take it for granted. Most of you are showing signs of disrespecting your seniors, treating them as figureheads & complain too much. When all of you complain to whoever, think before you complain. Why do you want to complain & reflect why did your seniors do this to you that you want to complain. Is it because they really want to torture you, or they do this because its for your own good. You never know, that you're complains really hurt us. We blame ourselves for being a bad senior, for punishing you guys when we don't want to. But we're doing so much for your own good & this is how you repay us. Have you ever thought how we feel?

Same as you guys, we're humans, we feel tired, we feel like slacking, we feel like giving up. But if 1 is to give up then followed by the others, then the whole band would give up & that's it. The end. Do you guys want this to happen? Talk to you, you don't listen. Scold you, you don't listen either. What do you want us to do? We can only do this much, & the rest is up to you to do it. If we have to tell each & everyone of you what to do, then you don't learn anything. & we hope that the sec 1's & the future batch of juniors would know what are we trying to emphasis them on, why are we doing this, why are we doing that. I appreciate that some of the sec 1's came to help today, & I hope in the future, we wouldn't have to show them this scene again. Be a good role model to them!

Also, in a section, yes, we're improving. But as a whole band, we're not. We always look after our own parts & heck care of the other sections. If this is the case, then why is it "One band, One sound."? We don't sound like a band, we don't sound together as one. As a band, not only we have to work on our own parts but also listen to each other's parts & blend in well. Its only this then we can achieve one good sound. This has been a bad habbit in our band & i really hope we can change on it. Sections who are weaker, please, take the initiative to practice more, work doubly hard. Bond more together & be as one. We're a family, no one should be left out.

SL's, you are important in our band. The section's progress, improvement, bonding, everything depends on how much you have taught them, how much you know them. You need to be firm, be strict so that your juniors will follow. Juniors, give your seniors the basic respect that they deserve also. When you become a senior or a SL in the future, you would know what it feels like when your juniors don't respect you.

I hope that after all I have said is not just a "Yes ma'am." or "Yes, I understand." but is how you have reflect on what I've written. Hope that all of you will prove me wrong & don't disappoint Mr Choy & us again. Do your reflections & hand it up by this week.

- Joey.

Labels: Talks